Oopsy!
by Amaris Ethne
Summary: Small mistakes in the movies...what could have happened...just me, bored in class thinking. Have fun! Please review!


Tomb of Balin  
  
"Get back! Stay close to Gandalf!" Aragorn yelled. The hobbits quickly obeyed, allowing themselves to be herded back behind Balin's coffin by the old wizard. Turning quickly, Aragorn tossed his still lit torch upon the ground and hurried forward to help Boromir bar the door.   
  
"They have a cave troll!" Boromir commented before catching a large battle-axe that Legolas tossed him. As the Elf turns to get another he spots the torch, still lit, laying among strewn parchment.   
  
"Ah, Aragorn..."  
  
"Hurry, Legolas! We need more axes!"  
  
"But Aragorn..." Legolas started again as a sheet of parchment caught fire.   
  
"You stupid Elf! Didn't you hear Boromir/ THEY HAVE A CAVE TROLL! Now, pass the rest of the bloody axes or we'll all be dead- your pointy-eared pansy ass included! PASS THE SODDING AXE!"   
  
By this time, Pippin had noticed the starting disaster, he being the only one who wasn't busying himself with battle preparations.   
  
"Fire!" He called, but none headed his warning correctly.  
  
"Fire at what, you dolt?" Merry asked from his position behind a wall with the other hobbits, out of sight from the now increasing flame.  
  
"My God, it has suddenly got quite hot in-" Boromir's idiotic statement was cut off by a very loud and very girlish scream as he, too, noticed the fire. Aragorn, however, remained oblivious.   
  
"I'm still waiting for the bloody axes! Do you all *want* to die?" He demanded, turning around with hands on hips angrily. The fire had spread to reach around three sides of Balin's coffin, Gimli still standing on the engraved stone yelling about revenge as fire licked at his feet, unnoticed. Legolas had nimbly jumped upon a ledge, safely out of reach. Gandalf was crouched near the Hobbits, eyes closed and mumbling in Elfish.   
  
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Aragorn bellowed. Above him, Legolas scoffed.  
  
"I tried to but you just kept yelling about sodden bloody axes."  
  
"Well get down here, Legolas! I'm trapped!"  
  
"Oh, so now you *need* my pointy eared pansy ass?"  
  
"YES!"   
  
With a smirk Legolas lowered an axe handle to the trapped men and Aragorn and Boromir grabbed hold, allowing them to be pulled to safety.   
  
"Now what?" the distant banging was coming closer. Within minutes the Fellowship would be surrounded by fire with Goblins and a cave troll eager to get at whatever the flames didn't eat.   
  
"Stay here!" Legolas commanded and summoning all his strength humped from the ledge to land gracefully behind Gimli. The Dwarf was still bellowing at nothingness, shaking his battle-axe at the growing flames. His beady eyes were glazed, unseeing, his grief and anger having over taken his limited mind. Legolas cringed, then, wrapping an arm around Gimli's waste, jumped.   
  
"No one carries a Dwarf!" Gimli bellowed. Legolas easily landed next to Aragorn and quickly deposited his squirming, hairy burden. By this time the Hobbits had figured out what was happening and were gathered around the still muttering Gandalf like chicks to a hen. Again Legolas made his amazing jump to the coffin, then turning leaped again to land near Gandalf. Silently he picked up two of the Hobbits, one under each arm and two jumps later Merry and Pippin were safe. Another trip got Sam and Frodo to the tiny sanctuary.  
  
"Gandalf! You must come!" Legolas had to almost shout over the noise growing outside the door. The wizard ignored him, continuing his mutterings. Legolas looked around at the growing fire. In mere minutes all of the floor would be on fire. Grabbing the old man, Legolas leapt to safety. There the Fellowship stood, far above the fiery danger when the thick door flew open. The frontline of Goblins came barging into the sea of flame. High pitched screams reminated form the flames and the foul smell of burned flesh made the Fellowship's eyes water. Legolas was made busy trying to prevent the more clumsy members of the group from falling to the same horrific death. Next came the cave troll. The immensely stupid creature blundered straight into the fiery room with a roar that turned to a painful bellow as his skin blistered and peeled. Around him the next waves of Goblins rushed in to find their own deaths. Over 50 Goblins burned before one was smart enough to notice the screaming or his comrades and not just blindly run in. Upon seeing the scene of a well done cave troll and numerous blackened Goblins the Goblin who as a child was called 'gifted' turned and ran. Some of his friends took the clue and turned on their slimy heels to follow but many more drew their weapons and in a bout of bravery/stupidity ran forward to a death of being backed alive. After a few minutes the stream of suicidal maniacs slowed. The door had caught aflame and Balin's rested place seemed to be an island in the flames. Nearby the cave troll laid, blackened to a crisp like a too big turkey at Christmas.   
  
"Le halg!" Gandalf suddenly yelled, his eyes wide. A black cloud appeared in the room. Thunder boomed and a downfall of rain instantly scorched the fire.  
  
"Aragorn, you are no longer allowed to carry a torch." Gandalf said.  
  
"Agreed!" Chimed the rest of the Fellowship. 


End file.
